In Brief

Over the last week or so, I have run into so many things on the Internet and in magazines and newspapers that I just haven’t had room for. So today, I am compiling all of those things into one column.

Do you feel old yet? How about now: Def Leppard announced it would be reissuing “Hysteria” as a two-CD package October 24 to celebrate its 20th Anniversary. 20 years? Damn, I remember buying that...on cassette!

Lindsay Lohan said this week she loves London so much, she’s planning on moving there (IMDb reported). Good! Enjoy the meat pies and bad teeth. Of course, you can fall in love with any city WHEN YOU HAVE MILLIONS OF DOLLARS! I’d love London too, if I could afford it!

Speaking of London, an art exhibition opened up in Barbican Arts Centre celebrating 30 years of punk. They would have invited some of the early punk rockers to open the show, but most of them were to drunk, pissed off or dead to show up.

Scarlett Johansson, who is starring in the Black Dahlia (below), told InStyle Magazine she’s happy being “curvy.” Did anyone say they minded that? Anyone?




Britney Spears and Kevin “Britney’s Husband” Federline named their second child Sutton Pierce. The name was probably Britney’s choice. I’m thinking K Fed, as he’s known in his overactive imagination, would have wanted to name the kid Opie Pimp.

Willie Nelson was busted for pot. I’d write a joke about this, but (a) I don’t care, (2) I’m not surprised and (d) you can’t really applaud the investigating officers because, really, how easy of a bust would that be? As far as usual suspects go, Nelson and Snoop Dogg are just easy targets. Now if they would have arrested the Olsen twins — now that would be interesting!

TV bounty hunter Duane ‘Dog’ Chapman, of A&E’s aptly titled Dog The Bounty Hunter, was arrested for bounty hunting in Mexico where it’s a crime. Of course, the charges stem Chapman apprehending Max Factor heir Andrew Luster in Puerto Villarta, Mexico, in 2003 after he fled the US after being convicted of raping three women, so maybe if the Mexican Police would have arrested and extradited Luster a bounty hunter wouldn’t have been necessary. Did Bobba Fett teach us nothing?

Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown are getting divorced. You have to wonder how they’re going to split their stash in the divorce stipulation.

Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest became the third film to gross over $1 billion in the worldwide box office. Only $100 million away from beating Lord of the Rings: Return of the King and $800 million from beating Titanic. Go Depp!

As I have mentioned several times on Mad Mad Media, the third season of The Office premieres this week. I’m super excited.

And, for you readers that made it all the way to the bottom, I present to you “The Beer Cannon.”